Purpose

Looking for my purpose in Hong Kong's Path of Wisdom
Looking for my purpose in Hong Kong’s Path of Wisdom

Lately I’ve been thinking about my life. Being in my mid- 20s, I think I am in that point I should stop saying, “Oh in a few years I will be, I plan on being a, I would want to be” but rather face the fact that it is time for me to actually do such things. It is time for me to actually know my purpose.

I want to be a teacher, a life coach, an interior designer, a performer, a dancer, a writer, an artist. Andami ko nang ginustong maging na hindi naging ako.

I am 25, done earning my degree and my license a few years back, been serving my country as a professional helping out urban schools for two and a half years, been providing for my family, established a business and been helping my employees. When I do try to enumerate the things I’ve done so far over the last years I can say that, yes, I may have already done something.

But always, I know I haven’t done enough.

And always, I end up feeling empty. Especially when I get to see my boss at work (which actually takes up most of time), I can see that all he thinks of me is that incompetent lady who, instead of being a mediocre engineer, should have just pursued her other passions. I know how I sound like- insecure, inferior. This was what the university made me, instead of making me strong, I felt defeated. Learning one’s purpose is tricky. In some point in your life you are lead to a path, the next few years it appears you are lead to another. I thought my life’s purpose is to be an engineer, and so even though it was really difficult to be one, I stuck to it. Years after, it started to feel like poison.

But being a The Feast goer and God’s words listener, little by little I get to understand His plans.

“Be at peace with everyone.” And yourself not excluded. Forgive yourself. Forgive that young lady who decided the path you would be taking for the next 40 years of your life. And forgive her for not giving that path up even until now. Forgive that young lady who messed up big time in her academics, forgetting all her other passions and capabilities. Forgive that young lady who just went with the flow just because she was already too afraid to come up again with bad decisions. Give her a slack, be at peace with everyone, be at peace with her.

Validate. Never define your worth based on what one and only one person thinks of you. It is not your mom’s, your dad’s, your siblings’, your neighbors’, your relatives’ nor your boss’ job to make you discover your worth to the world. It isn’t self imposed either. Your worth is something that has to be worked on by you yourself. And the step is too simple. Always fill your heart with God’s love and let it overflow, then love others. Validate through God’s love. Then, then that’s when your meaning to the world will unfold itself.

It’s okay. When you didn’t get any sleep because you wanted to give your boss a significant report, when what you only ate for almost a week for dinner were bread and tuna to save up for your family’s needs, when you know you did all that you could possibly do, but in return what you got was the impression that you were never enough, it’s okay. When the whole world fails to acknowledge what you have done, and still points out that you are so far away from being good even, it’s okay.

Despite these heartbreaking harshness of reality, keep your heart whole.

Because even when no one seems to notice your hard work and sacrifices, He does. Even when you thought you couldn’t trust yourself anymore, He does. Even when it is hard to believe that there is still a better tomorrow, He does. Even when you found yourself hard to love, He does.

Keep your heart whole to receive His love.

Although I’m not getting any younger and I still have to figure out how exactly I would like to spend the rest of my life and discover my true purpose, I trust in Him. He will guide me to the best path for me to be able to give back to the world. May that be as a teacher, an artist or a life coach, He will lead me to that. As a human, I’m still scared, honestly. But through these years, He always assures me of His presence and I believe that though I may still be halfway to what I can still accomplish, for Him I am always already a champion.

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10 thoughts on “Purpose

  1. Wow. As I read this I felt as if you took a page out of my own life. Just like you, I studied engineering. I did it because I was told I’d be good at it. There was no passion involved. I eventually found health coaching and have now switched to this new career full time. I’m feeling passionate about my work for the first time ever. Keep your head up and your eyes and ears open. The path to your passion will reveal itself to you if you stay receptive. Best of luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, tangeldr! (For some weird reason it is only today that I got to see your comment here.) Thank you so much for the empowerment you are giving me. Meeting people who have been in the same track as I am right now and finally overcoming their frustrations and finding the careers they would love is a great relief and inspiration for me. Thank you. I know doors will keep opening and one of these days I really hope I get to find the one for me that leads me to the best path. 🙂

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  2. I really enjoyed reading this and can relate in so many ways even though I’m still in my early 20’s. Keep sharing how you feel and what you are going through. I’m so glad I found your blog.
    Have a blessed day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you THENADLOG! You’re gonna meet more posts about quarter life crisis here soon. Just joking. Haha! I started struggling about life’s purpose when I was 21, I think. I hope you are coping up well. Hope you learn a few things from here. 🙂 Will be following your blog, too. Thanks for dropping by. 🙂

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  3. Hi, thanks for stopping by in my blog. I liked this post, I am not really a religious person so I didn’t manage to relate to the last few bits. However, I understand where you are coming from. I am 23 and already started feeling like that: I am not doing enough. From a job perspective, a friend bought me a book for Christmas that you might be interested. It helped me feel better about changing paths. It also helped me think outside the box a little bit. 🙂

    (‘How to find fulfilling work ‘ by Roman Krznaric)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hello!

    I saw your request for feedback on the Daily Post. Great content and to be so young, you are well on your way. I would venture to say you ARE living out your purpose, regardless of whether engineering or otherwise. Sharing our experience, strength and hope, in my opinion, is the point. Turning our messes into our message.

    Content is great!!

    Maybe fine tune the form, but then again, I was an English major so I tent to be a little OCD with regard to that kinda thing… Lol

    I wish I’d had so much together as you do at your age!! Keep writing!!

    Much love,

    Samantha

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    1. Hi Samantha! I got to see your comment just now! I’m sorry. :)) But thank you thank you very much for stopping by and I am really grateful for seeimg people who can appreciate what I would like to share. Thanks a lot! 🙂

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