Deserving

Eversince I was little I have been having this attitude of believing that I need to work really hard for something to deserve it. I had to study every single day to be the class valedictorian, I had to practice all over and over again to be the oratorical or dance contest champion, I had to eat less and less rice and sweets to be not diabetic. Every single thing I wanted should have to be worked hard for. And good news, everything paid off.

But when I started to grow a little older, I feel envious of the people to get to have the things they want in just one snap of a finger. They dont need to be a working student to get their degree. They dont need to work extra hours so that they can buy new clothes or school stuffs, even. They dont need to have three jobs and a business just to be able to provide for their families.

Things are a little unfair, I say. What have they done to be deserving right there and then of the things they wish? What have I not done?

I stopped receiving gifts from my parents when I was 12. Or 10. People get their cars on their 18th birthdays. I stopped receiving allowances from my parents when I was three sems away from finishing college. People receive condos as graduation gifts.

Being envious is a posion that emotionally kills people and is one thing no one wishes to feel, but things are a little unfair, I say. What have I not done to be deserving of these things in an instant?

Am I really undeserving?

But hearing stories from people around me made me think otherwise.

Their parents disapprove of their choices in life. They cant speak to them because it is either they are too busy or they just dont get along well. Complaints about being unsupportive are here and there.

And when I look at my parents and see how they show compassion towards me and my siblings, I get to thinking, what have I done to be deserving of this kind of love?

I love you Mom and Dad. Thank you.  🙂 I love you. 🙂

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