Dear Future Fiance

I never planned my wedding yet. Or I tried to never plan. Except for the little detail that my entourage would wear silky gowns of violet to silver hue. And that I would have the most amazing, emotional, touching pre-nup and same day edit videos. Because for sure when I do, it is you who I imagine as the groom. And I would never want to plan something you and God hasn’t told me about yet.

When we watched Friend’s episode about Monica saying that as a child she used to place a white blanket atop her head and pretended it was her veil, I couldn’t relate. I don’t think I tried that, and if ever I did, I believe it was me pretending I had longer beautiful hair perhaps because I had just seen a shampoo commercial. See even as a little girl I tried not to plan my wedding.

When for the first time I experienced to walk down the isle as a junior bride’s maid in my cousin’s wedding, all I think about was how not to ruin my perfectly ironed hair. It was my first time to have it ironed and I believed I looked pretty. For the next hour of my life while my teary eyed cousin was exchanging vows with the man she promised to love forever, my concern was my long black straight hair. See as a teen I tried not to plan my wedding.

When my brother got engaged a few years back and my parents requested to have the wedding of all their children on the 21st of December, the same as theirs, I thought oh at least I would not need to decide when my wedding will be. See as a young adult I try not to plan my wedding.

When my girl friends started to go gaga on proposal videos in social media, I try not to get attached. And not to think on how I will get engaged. I limit myself to just pure appreciation and admiration of the acts of love these men show their ladies. When my mind begin to dream I’ll open my eyes and remind myself I’ll have that one unique moment of my life at the right time. Then I’ll go back to whatever I was doing before I wander off- may it that be my simulations, my itinerary for my next trip, my spoken word piece. See at 26 I try not to plan my wedding.

Sometimes I would wish that this cross your mind even just for a few seconds. But then I would just be thankful that we both are not in a hurry.

I am thankful, that just like me, you think of your family first and make sure their needs are covered every minute of the day. I am thankful, that just like me, you think of figuring out how God wants us to live our lives and fulfill His missions for us. I am thankful, that just like me, you think of establishing businesses that is meant not just for living or earning but also for loving.

You know the handful of dreams I got that I work on- dreams that I do for myself, for others and for our country. And I am grateful you let me reach them even if it’s taking me a little long. And I know you have your fair share. You don’t have to worry. I can’t let humanity not experience the actualization of your ideas, of you greatness and of your amazing heart. That is why I support you. Wholeheartedly. I can’t wait to see success unfold in front of you.

And I can’t wait to see what we can do together. We are working hard to be the greatest individuals we can be for I know that it takes two whole souls to create one great partnership. You know I live my life believing everything happens for a reason and I am but excited to discover all God’s for bringing us together twelve years ago.

When the right time comes, when we finally realize that the dreams left to be fulfilled are the dreams we are to fulfill together, we’ll know.

Little by little, we’ll know.

When just like my every mornings last week I suddenly felt incomplete when I didn’t see your face as I opened my eyes. And just like after 7 days of tiring field work I chose to stay with you and watch Modern Family as we lazily leaned on my softest pillow than finally see and embrace my parents who for 26 years of my life were the definition of home.

Little by little, we’ll know.

.

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